Every time I talk to my dad he’s on vacation. What the fuck? He missed my birthday so I asked him when I was going to see him & he told me he’s in the Smoky Mountains & he’ll be back next week. I never even get any souvenirs… Fuck man.

I just found out my favorite sushi restaurant closed & now I am crying.

My moms texting me racist jokes. She forgets these jokes are only funny if you’re racist…

It ain’t easy being as scummy as me.

Kind of sad, my friend actually brought me deodorant.

On second thought, maybe it is kind of easy.

Sometimes I’m like “damn, I met Jerry Only…”